• Monique

Are you afraid to stand out? Three practices to make you comfortable being uncomfortable.

In everything in do in life we need self confidence. At the very least we need to be comfortable being uncomfortable. Because uncomfortable situations are lurking around the corner every single day.

Remember that time that you were talking with that SOOO cute guy/girl and while you laughed being the most charming you a piece of snot escaped your nose ....

Or when you were telling this story at the birthday of aunt Tilly that turned 50. Friends, family and strangers were all glued to every word coming out of your mouth when at one point words weren't the only thing coming out of your mouth .....

And what about that time you were taking a yoga class. It was a trial and a good friend of yours took you with her because it was introduction week. You were kind of impressed by all the pretty and experienced women in the class. And oh my god that guy is hot! does he take this class every week? You decided to feel the fear and stand in the front with your friend anyway and while you were doing the downward facing dog and the teacher correcting you, you let "one" (=fart) rip. Loud and über clear .....

All these situations are very uncomfortable and they make you stand out.

Because most of the time we're not leaking out of our noses, mouths, or behinds unless we are babys.

And those days have been looooong gone. And while a way to get comfortable being uncomfortable could be doing all of the above on purpose. There's a way to cultivate your ease in horror situations like these that is a lot of fun ánd that helps in other situations too.

1. Do something you're afraid of every single day.

How this something looks depends on your level of gutsiness. While you might not having a problem with giving a total stranger a compliment, someone else might feel their breakfast coming up from only the thought of talking to a stranger let alone giving them a compliment. The scariest time I've done this was with a guy that looked very good and who also looked angry-ish. I think my breakfast did come up, I managed to keep it in though ;-)

2. Get comfortable standing out in a good way

This one I'm still practicing with myself.

How do you look when you leave the door? Could anyone be you when you walk in Berlin Mitte or the Kalverstraat Amsterdam? And while most things are things that most people own or wear like leather jackets, jeans jackets, bomber jackets etc. The colour of your lipstick, the way you wear your hair, your pants, your earrings might stand out a bit more. When you look this way you are bound to get looks. Approving, disapproving , puzzled (either you or them) and probably a few "I don't look at you" looks.

3. Do something that you would never ever do.

How often do you judge other people? And how often are you afraid of being judged?Usually these two go hand in hand.

If you're really a tough cookie, or you want to be, or you just want to get super - 30 amazingly soft cushions on the bed like - comfortable than do that thing that you judge in others. Like:

Talking super loud on a morning train. Or make sounds while eating and drinking in a restaurant. While you're eating alone. Or laugh out loud when you're friend tells you a joke, so that everybody can see that you're having lots of fun while their bored out of their a**.

I have been doing this myself with things that I judged in my Sebastian. And what I found out, I was afraid to do them myself. I was afraid that he would get angry, annoyed and what not. And when I had the guts to do so, it felt SO INCREDIBLY fresh air after a 10 hour Flix Bus ride good that I was sorry I didn't do this before.

When you do this for a regular time period it gets easier and you start to take on "scarier" things to do, like running around naked the whole day at a nudist beach. While I'm not there yet, it really is something that I would like to feel super comfortable with.

And all semi nudist jokes aside, because I'm actually serious about that, feeling comfortable being uncomfortable is super freeing and I wish you and I could always feel this way.

Thank you for reading and if you haven't yet you can subscribe to my newsletter on the homepage.

With Love,


ps the photo of the mingo can be printed for free. Interested? click here.

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