Relationship drama and how I deal with it...
The last couple of weeks have been TOUGH yo. No jokes. Nor playing for kids. Hard work and taming that Lioness, Tigress with her Black Mamba Ego complex.
I'm not even sure if what I've written above is grammatically correct, but my guess is that I painted a clear picture for you.
As a sidestep, an important one, planetary wise there's a lot going on too. We are asked to step in to our true and authentic selves. Why? Because earth can not survive if we stay stuck in this hustle and bustle for the sake of things that don't really matter and forget about what things are really about; To Love, Be Loved, Have Fun, Take Care of each other. And with each other is meant everyone and every thing on planet earth.
What has that to do with anything? Lets just say that if the moon effects the sea you can bet your favourite sweater on it that the planets affect our inner states too.
So, rocky times here in the Donner residence (his last name and I live there too). We are switching roles in instigating the drama. And the drama usually only turns into drama when the other one reacts to the mood of the instigator.
There have been so many times that I wanted to throw a larger than life tantrum. That I felt like picking up every breakable pot and throwing them through the house. Or to kick in the door, or both at the same time! And somehow every time I'm aware of this little screaming princess inside of me that wants something completely different; A Great Big Hug. I want to be seen and loved and told that even though I'm being a little bitch, that I'm ok anyway.
And I also realise this when he's being a very annoying little brat. Because truth is, whenever me or he goes into this role it's the younger version of ourselves that wants to be seen and wants nothing more than a great big hug. Even more so, or especially when we're being the most difficult. And the trick is that when you're the one that notices what's going on and you're reaching out to give the other what they want, that you feel strong and steady and when they blow you off (because it's difficult to accept love when you're angry) and that you don't take it personally.
What saves him and me and makes me feel confident that we can make it through heavier times is that one of the both of us loosens up when the heat has risen and steps out of the anger game. For fighting you need two people and if one of the two steps out, it's not a fight anymore.
I wished for a conscious relationship. And now I have one. And while at first I had this romantic idea about how it would be (all rose coloured unicorn rainbows and fairy dust) it's been one of the hardest relationships and the most worth while. The thing that makes a relationship conscious is the fact that you call yourself out on your sh*t. But I guess I'm entering a whole new topic. So I'll save the wisdom of this one for another blog post.
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Wishing you a lot of conscious fights.
And don't forget, diamonds are shaped under pressure.
picture: danielle macinnes