Long post alert. One that's kicking off to something amazing and new.
And if you're a woman and you want to experience a deeper love-ing than you have experienced so far than you're invited to be a part of it too.
The other day one of my Berliner Soul Sisters had something special to tell me.
After a visit from her parents in a rural part of Germany she came back with a message from the trees for me.
When she said told me that she had a message from the trees, without telling me the actual message yet, I instantly got goosebumps. That is always a sign that what I hear is a deeper message indeed.
And since I have been bonding with trees too lately, meaning I frequently hug them during or after a run or work out in the parc, I was not really surprised.
The message was simple: "It is time. And you will know what's meant by that".
I wasn't sure what it meant yet and trusted that I would know soon, so I let it go.
It has been two weeks now and I know what they mean.
The time has come for me to be a part of spreading the Love Revolution.
Perhaps you've already been noticing changes around you, or you are yourself part of the change.
Or maybe your just waking up to it. A lot of "normal" relationships don't work for a lot of people any more.
People don't want what was the norm because they're starting to wake up to the knowing that there is something far greater to be obtained for the daring ones.
Some call it divine partnerships, some call it twin flame relationships or soulmate relationships. Abraham hicks just calls it alignment.
The one you are bound to know, because you have definitely been in one before or you are in one now ..... is the karmic relationship.
My last karmic relationship and the two karmic flings after that, were the accelerator for my current love path.
Let me first tell you about that relationship, before I go on with the explanation:
The karmic relationship
So. Him and me.
It all started of really nice and for the very wrong reasons. In hindsight. Of course.
I just got out of another relationship, that had left me broken hearted.
I had been dating someone that wasn’t in love with me. And lucky for my ego, that I was not the first girl this happened to, with him. But still, the "not-good / beautiful / sexy / whatever enough" fire inside of me got some extra wood with that ....
He put me on a plane to Australia, with tears in his eyes. And that was that.
I was off to new adventures.
Him and I, the last karmic one, we already knew each other from a few years before, when we had a weekend romance in Amsterdam. All very unplanned and a lot of laughter and fun. When I knew I was stopping over shortly close to his I contacted him for a meetup.
And believe it or not, I did not expect anything to happen between us. I was still heart broken and am not the one to hop from one man to the other. And he felt like a friend that I hadn't seen in a while and also I had no idea if he was in a relationship or not.
But of course it turned out differently. Hence I'm writing this post.
Saillant detail, he also just gotten out of a relationship.
With a girl he thought he was going to marry. She left him for her ex, the father of her child.
We were each other’s perfect “bad” choice. Well good choice of course, I believe we will get the lessons until we consciously choose and decide we have learned the lesson. And really feel through the lesson and see what was going on that brought it about.
We moved in pretty quickly like kind of after a week ... because that was just the easiest and most fun thing to do. The beginning was great.
And I adored where he lived; in the middle of nature in a huge boy toy house with a mini ramp in it and it was all fun, laughter, sweet and sexy.
And he also fixed my ego, he was very much attracted to me and also in "love" with me.
After a few months it started to get weird. He did not trust me, understandable after his last romantic love, and we fought a lot.
He was constantly in his victim role blaming me for everything and anything. And complaining about life in general without taking action in any direction.
On top of this he did not like me having my own thing and creating something for myself.
And all of a sudden I realised it:
Holy eff. I was dating my mother. AGAIN.
Don't get me wrong, I love my mother to pieces.
She is one of the most important people in my life and I'm happy with the woman I am today.
AND having made that clear she also displayed behavior that made me grow immensely ;-)
Of course I was a nightmare to him too. I was everything he did not want.
Someone that loves to have freedom, accomplish things for herself and would rather start a fight than tell him what was really going on inside of me.
His reaction to my wanting to do and have my own thing in a country far away from home was suffocation. He was afraid to lose me. Though he never had me.
It did not end pretty and I even blocked him from social media.
And already for a while now I can see that everything that happened had to. He was my painful lesson and I was his.
This was already a great catalysator, one that told me where to look in myself to not have this sh*t again. But, I was not quite there yet. First there came two flings.
The first fling
When I landed my feet back in Holland someone that I had been having the hots for for a long time just got out of a relationship and fell in mutual hotness with me.
It started really nice and good and soon after he realised he couldn't do it yet. He still had nightmares, yes really, about the relationship with his ex.
My heart was in pieces again. Why did this always happen to me?!
And while I intellectually knew that like attracts like, I really could not understand it and see what I was doing or not doing that caused this to happen.
The second fling
This one was a super clear mama Universe one.
Ever since I was back from Australia and having turned vegan I had a lot of magic happening around me.
One was the moving to Berlin, which is a whole other story in itself.
When I came here and posted a photo of me skating Tempelhoferfeld on Facebook I received a message saying: "Hey! I could've sworn you lived in Amsterdam but you live in Berlin?"
I remember this guy adding me on Facebook and I accepted even though I did not know him.
My reply was: "Well, yes, but who are you again?"
Turned out I met him at a party in Amsterdam a month prior and I was now living practically around the corner from him ...
He asked me out and we started dating. And what do you know ...
I was dating my mum. Again.
And to make matters even more interesting, I was also living with a girl that yes, resembled my mother too.
And just when you think it could not get any worse ... This lovely man was not ready for a relationship either. Just got out of one, yadiyadiyada.
And then I finally got it. I needed to once and for all forgive my mother AND myself for our interesting relationship and decide that I was done getting into all kinds of relationships that were resembling the relationship I had with my mother growing up.
And, that I myself was closed off as an oyster on horsepower.
As I moved to Berlin to grow my business and I had found out about the concepts of inside out living, the law of attraction, the power of thoughts etc. I was working hard on myself.
Because I got taught and experienced that my inner world and fear for succes reflected my outer world and my business success.
The great side effect of all this inner work was that I was simultaneously changing my romantic self.
The first two unconditional love experiences
There are a few very special men in my life and one of them is an ex. That I broke up with. Twice.
He is the very first person that I told I loved him without wanting to want anything back. And although that did not quite work out then, it was the first step to this concept of unconditional love and at times when I could do it. It felt amazing. Just loving for the sake of loving without wanting to own, or expecting anything in return.
And, what about the situation now?
Yes, there is someone. And it needs some explanation but first this:
It's time to Rise up to LOVE
What's LOVE. What do I mean by it and what kind will I have and do I wish for you too?
One that is super sexy, balanced and unconditional. One that is painful thus heart opening and full of lessons. Not the drama ones. The real ones that help us rise further and further. The ones that you recognise and are determined to face and transmute. And from that place can step into more magic not only with your lover, but also with other people in doing great things together for the greater good.
The current sexy man
I already gave you a bit of inside information. And yes there is someone that is super special to me.
We have a lot of "coincidences" going on and how I met him and the signs I got prior to meeting him I know he is in fact supposed to be in my life.
BUT. AND. I do not know if he's The One.
What he has helped me with so far is pretty amazing. He reflects so much of my old pain and insecurities and I dare to say anything to him.
He's helping me rewriting the stories I had about men that I was super attracted to, and let me share that with you in our private place that is announced at the end of this page.
He's trust worthy, reliable, open hearted and a deep soul. And going through a lot of sh*t of his own. Even though I confront him and very recently even got super mad at him, he keeps on keeping on. He's willing to take whatever I give him. And doesn't close down and ignore me as a result.
I adore him and all that he has done for me so far.
Everyday a bit more he makes me realise that I am the most important person in my life.
We are not romantically involved and he knows of my attraction to him. He never voiced his feelings and for now I'm ok with that.
It's a beautiful gift to unwrap and see how he was when we first met and who he is to me about four months later. One that I have fun with, does little dances for me, pays me surprise visits and is willing to take the "beating" when I get in my insecurities.
The steps are revealed bit by bit.
Of course I do get impatient at times and I also know that I'm taken care of and I will have that what I yearn for - the LOVE relationship - when the time is right. In the mean time it's my job to stay open and honest and learn and teach and grow together with who-ever is ready to start this love revolution too.
Not for the faint at heart
This journey takes a lot of courage to really look at ourselves. And if I talk about me specifically it is super important for me to be honest about my motives. And what I want from him. And from myself.
It teaches me time and time again that the person I should be focusing on in the first place is me. I am important not how he behaves, or not behaves.
And he already cracked my heart open a few times. Well actually I did it because of interpretations of his behaviour. And that's exactly what is necessary. For constant love to be felt, even in the face of fear and pain.
It’s painful and super sweet at the same time. Don’t get me wrong, I am by no means a masochist.
I am a realist that knows that these are the necessary feelings and steps
The mirror that helps
How can we know if we're on the right track?
Very easy. And of course I and others will help you discern this.
Ever since I have decided to go on this Love Revolution, which was a few months before before I met mr. crazy sexy cool, I had a lot of extra magic coming into my life. And a few brought a recent shift inside of me that made me go from acting to reflecting.
From being the masculine shining sun (masculine) to the reflecting nourishing moon (feminine).
Then the other day I was outside enjoying the sun and two men apart from each other approached me.
One asked me out, twice - I bumped into him two times .... hmmm what was that about again Mama Universe? - and the other one just came to talk to me out of the blue while I was reading a book in the park.
And what I noticed is that the men that I had the hots for before, do not do anything to my inner world anymore when I see them.
This tells me that I'm on the right path and that it's just a matter of keep on keeping on. And this tells me also that men are on a collective level changing and stepping more into their masculinity as we step more into our femininity.
By the way I was not interested in both men, flattered yes, but not biting ;-)
Join me if you're also ready to Rise Up to Love.
If any of this resonated with you and you are a woman I invite you to be a part of the Facebook group I created especially for this LOVE purpose.
It will be a safe space where I will share my amazing moments and my pains and you're invited to do the same. But only if it feels comfortable.
Let us Rise up to Love together.