Anger and Magic

October 3, 2016

photo from Almanac.com 

 

I used to be a feisty little one most of the time. Now I am a feisty little one some of the time. And I don’t surpress it and it shows. I never had any serious bodily ailments coming from not speaking my mind or heart.

 

Ah wait, I remember I had a slight case of RSI back in my office days.

Common ailments when you not speak your mind are, as mentioned above, RSI, burn-out, migraine and even cancer.

 

Last Friday I was excercising in the parc, which I do most mornings to kick start my day, and I got so PISSED OFF!

 

A few things in my life seem stuck and I can’t seem to find what I’m doing to block them.

Because really and truly. My belief is that we’re all very powerful beings. Me included. And we can attract anything into our lives with directed intention and can also prevent certain things from coming into our lives.

 

And when I don’t know what it is, I know it’s a deep rooted subconscious belief. Which can frustrate the eff out of me and it did.

 

When I was doing this particular exercise, which I really dislike but am always happy when I did it, I just had it and started crying.

This had not happened in a while and it came from way down inside.

I felt powerless and angry and pissed off and sorry for myself. All of it. And I let it out. I hugged the nearest tree – haha yes really – and complained.

 

My mind was of course much lighter after crying and I could notice a subtle shift that I can not really give a name too yet. Most importantly after my outburst I could see and feel that I’m good enough. For any and everything that I would like to attract into my life.

 

This still is a real Biggy for me.

 

Even after all this work on myself it pops up every now and again. And that’s ok. It’s part of me, that makes me ME and inspires me to be better.

 

I went about my day and had an amazing one. I finally did my taxes in a bar in Neuköln and after that I treated myself to some fries and an amazingly delicious cole slaw at Dandy Diner.

 

Dandy Diner is a vegan fast food restaurant here in Berlin which sells truly utterly awesome  vegan food. After that I picked up my new switi manja labels printed on vegan material and went home.

I forgot that I still had some things to prepare for the Saturday market, so I had to work until about 11 or so that night, so I did. The next morning I couldn't find my lap top charger.

Which is kind of terrible as I do just about everything on my laptop.

 

The only thing I could think of was that I forget it in the bar where I did my taxes. I called them and they did not find it.

 

Another Biggy for me. Whenever things are going like I want financially I create a set back. Not major ones but enough to make me wonder what on earth make me forget an 80 euro mac book charger.

 

And again I got pissed and made a decision then and there to not sabotage myself into unnecessary expenses.

 

In the mean time I  was way to late for the market and I did not care.

 

I was more concerned with getting myself in a positive state, because I know what kind of situations I attract when I’m in an angry one.

 

When I arrived at the market I was still grumpy as a warm place under the earth.

The weather was mwah, there were hardly any people so it looked like sales were not going to be good either. And to be honest I did not care. I concentrated on having a fun day and wished for some magic to come my way. And made a wish for a particular financial outcome of the day.

The part I'm going to tell you about now, I'm a bit afraid to share.

 

Because it does feel silly to admit but these are things that I do. And I believe it is related to the flow and magic that's in my life.

 

So I have a thing with bugs. The people that I hang out with know, because they usually see me safe one. I somehow always notice them.

 

I stepped outside of Sofie and my market stall for a bit and was talking to a friend. My eye fell on a piece of glass that I picked up to move out of the way and then I saw this little bee-ish creature that looked dead at first glance but I could see that one of his wings was still moving. I picked it up with a card, just in case it could sting me and wasn’t sure what to do.

 

I decided to find a flower for it, perhaps it just needed to eat something and would get back it’s strength. And if not then it would pass away in a beautiful surrounding. I found a flower with anthers (the parts of a stamen that contains the pollen) and put the little one inside with his head turned to the anthers.

 

I went back to the stall and my phone rang. It was the bar telling me that they found my charger!! And straight after that I had my first customer. And after that one of the top awesomeness things of the day took place: A lady came to mystall. Very happy, very friendly and very curly hair.

She told me she’d seen my brand before and that she adores the packaging. 

 

She could easily imagine it being sold in Paris too and if I would need any help with contacting stores. She is French and it’s a much easier way to get sales points when you speak the language.

And what do you know, a few days before I literally thought: I think my vegan honeys will work in Paris, but how on earth will I do that I don’t speak French.

 

So, thank you Mama Universe. And Higher Self. And Julie’s Higher Self for picking up my request.

The rest of the day was magical too, but that’s a topic for another email.

Lastly why do I think helping the little bug is related to the magic? Because any life is important.

And when I care for something bigger than my laptop charger … and step out of my “silly” grumpiness to tend to things that matter, then things are able to flow again.

 

Wish every single one of you a wonderful week.

 

Peace, love and paws.

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